I ♥ Music

Sunday, July 19, 2009,Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sad~

Today went to attend alvin's mum funeral...When i was at there, it remind me of my mum's funeral where i had sleepless night just to offer the incense...haha...hmmm, see alvin, it do remind me of those days where i spent with my mum....How i wish those days end slowly or nvr even end Because i wan to spent more times with my mum, i was wonder, how come half a year past so fast? I wan time to turn back, at those days, i do really see how my mum show her concern to us...Despite she suffer from illness, she still care for us whether we fall sick....I still rmb tat gt one night, i having fever, she having difficulties on walking because her leg was swollen, yet she still come into my room, and wake up me to eat medicine and take my temperature... Last time before she suffering from cancer, i always have the mindset tat she is too biased against my sis, in the end i found out is tat the way she showing concern to us is different...When i wanted to repay her for wat she did, it was already too late, she already suffering from cancer...I did nth and all i know is that every night, or whenever i was alone, i will hide under my blanket and cried and cried....Because I know tat in a few months time, she was going to leave us....I rather she everyday scold me and cane me than everyday resting at home and wait for death....whenever i see her giving up on herself by nt visiting to hospital or getting herself drank, i feel even more depress and wish that the person is me instead of my mum.... Seriously, a person suffering from illness is nt a funny matter, if u nvr experience it yourself, u will nvr know...After my mum pass away, it took me almost 1 year to stop myself from thinking of my mum and emo-ing.....Throughout this 1 year, alot of things happened ard me and i didn't even reliase....haiz~~~ Now if u ask me whether i miss my mum or will i think of my mum or nt, and if i say no, is all LIE!....Sometime all the things happened on me or stress out because of sch work, i will thinking of doing something silly...:P. For me, i will think this way is because once you gone, all the matter will be solve and your parent will save money by paying less electric, less water money....Isn't it sound great? Muahahaha~~~ Tat is another reason why i cherish friendship alot is that whenever soemthing on me, they will be there for me to relay one or support me.....